Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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