i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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