I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize