He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
