Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
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She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
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Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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