So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he thought i was a dude.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
