So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
