Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
