Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
