After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
whose parrot is this?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
