508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
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I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
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I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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