Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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