some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
