Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
