HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We left the knife in your bed.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
