my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
