she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
