We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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