I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
