I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I cockslap morals
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
