I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
