Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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