The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
