I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
