My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
