: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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