I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
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he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
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Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Im part way to drunk.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm really busy with my period
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