I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
