If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize