The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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