that's an acceptable place to lick
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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