I hope mine doesn't look like that
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
