So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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