Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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