I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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