two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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