It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
