I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
