Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
where does the pee come out of this thing
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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