I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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