you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize