I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
