Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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