dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
