literally had 100 drinks last night.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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