This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
