you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
