coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
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It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
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I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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