Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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