It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
