im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
