Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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