he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Everyone says I win the strip club
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
