In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
