I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize