all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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