Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Are my feet made of real feet?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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