I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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